Hello dearest

Im sitting here. Doing nothing. Exept thinking of you& listening to afi. Good band. Really. But you asked what I see in you that I like. There is so much to say, but the thing is, I don't know how to say it. So I'll try my best ok? No thinking it through. Just typing what feelings pop up when I see you.

Ohmy. Here he comes. The butterflies are back. My heart is in one piece again. My other self is here. Its scary. Like he has a piece of me with him. Scratch that, a huge chunk of me. God I love him. Mmm he smells good. Life is amazing right now. Now that he's behind me, I feel protected. Go ahead bodi, say it. I have a raunchy butt. That's ok. My love is here. I don't care right now. I know he likes this raunchy butt, so say it all you want. What? We have to go? So soon? And why does mrs martin have to watch the halls like a famished hawk? I know, no pda. Who cares. Wait, don't go. I haven't told you yet. I haven't said how much you mean to me. How much I love you. I'll see you later? Ok mabe I'll tell you then. God. Now I feel alone again. Nobody matters to me. Not near as much as you do. What? Shut up blaine. No one cares. Yes, im getting the pick of destiny. No, you don't get it till you pay me. Beth, are you ok? Nevermind then. I didn't mean to interrupt. I'll just check myspace. Letter from todd? Again? Hmm….this is akward. I'll tell him Jordan and I are amazing. Mabe he'll get the idea. Only a few minutes, then I get to see him again and I wont feel alone anymore. Finally! Locker. Where is he? He's finally coming! Mabe I'll tell him now. The feeling of safety is back. I love it. I love you. You are my world. Can we stay forever? Stupid bell. It dosent give me enough time with him. I'll see you at lunch right? I feel better now. Mrs martin, another lecture? Why? Most of us know this already. Can I go work on my Art project? No, ok then. Mabe tomorrow. The emptiness is back. No one is talking to me. Again. I'll get back on myspace. Nothing. Blogdrive? He left me something! I actually smile when I read something. The best part of this class. now I guess ill look at f***mylife and see if there's anything new. No? how bout failblog. Well there's a few. The bell? Not yet. 10 minutes to go. Its soo slow! I have to see him. Now. I miss him already. Finally! I thought it would never ring. Lunch? Its probably nasty. But I don't care. You are there, that's the only reason im going. Hey cory, can you do this? Haha. I feel so loved. I wish this will last forever. I need this to last forever. i have never felt so strongly about anyone before. I have never felt this emptiness when we're apart. I have never felt the longing to spend every waking moment with you. I need you. So badly. What? Class already? But I didn't get to tell you. Well, before you go, I want my kiss. Im not done yet. Do you have to go? Alright. I'll see you in a little while right? Ok. I love you. Dang. Stupid play. Mrs cap is getting angry again. Better be good. So I can get back on blogdrive. Mabe we'll be on at the same time? That would be cool. No? damn. Mabe next time. Bell! Walk fast. Hi beth! Or, you know, don't talk to me. That works too. Thanks a lot chey for ignoring me again. What ever happened to best friends? At least I try. I wont try anymore. Jordan! I cant believe I smile this much when he's around. I cant help it. What? Im sorry. I was just thinking about how amazing you are. No lie. So how about joseph rave? I get butterflies thinking about it. A kid with the one person I love most on this earth. That would be amazing. And he would be a little cutie. He gets it from his daddy, you know. No, I don't want you to go yet. I guess. See you later. Mabe marissa will talk to me again. She's about the only one who does, even when beth and chey are around. It might not be much but at least she does. That's something right? Trig. Ick. Almost done. Need to finish so I can see him again. Done already? That went by fast. Art. Ick. My least favorite class. hey! You're here. Stay with me? Please? Yea. They're already in there. No, im not looking forward to it. Cory is about the only one I talk to in there, and you know that. Ok. See you in a little bit. Love you. Ok, I hate this class. they are loud. And annoying. And beth wont talk to me. Again.what else is new? Only a few more minutes. Jordan! Hey! You have no idea how happy I am to see you. You are the only reason I come to school. At all. Have I mentioned how much I love you? Well I do. Long bus ride. Braden keeps staring. Ick. We can give him something to stare about you know. Ha. Well, you have to get off. Don't go. I'll miss you. So much. Call me tonight? Ok. Love you too. At home its sheer boredom. Nothing. Cant wait till he calls. Yay! You seem so calm. Are you ok? Oh. Im sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I wish I were better. You deserve more than me. And yet you still choose to stay? Mm ok. Can I talk you to sleep again? I feel wanted when I do. Ok. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you too. So much. Goodnight.

This is what usually goes on in my head when I see you. No lie. All day this is about it. Nobody has ever been this close to my thoughts. Ever. Feel special. :] ima go now ok? I love you. so much. And you are never alone. K?

Love always,

Myrtle Jean.

I remembe when this was true and i guess its bad when you already had the best days of your life. ily and should of been better. you deserved better. i will be better.